Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
