i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
