NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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