I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
