so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
