When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
