i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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