I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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