oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
