Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
