Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
