i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I believe in your delicious
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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