my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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