Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
