No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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