Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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