someone get that fucking seahorse.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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