are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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