I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
