Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
