why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
