Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
