just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
