Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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