Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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