I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
