Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
