dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
