Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
