Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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