I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
