she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
