Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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