I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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