I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We have started to decorate penises.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
