I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
