I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
