so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
