My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I understand Curling. That high.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I fill condoms, not promises.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
