I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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