how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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