Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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