Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
