This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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