I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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