I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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