I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
