WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
