Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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