Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
